Beast of Burden Page 13

  She rose as he spoke, limping slightly to close the space between them. “How?”

  “I wish I knew,” he whispered. “But never doubt it.” He turned to face her when he felt her cool hand upon his shoulder. “Our souls are entwined, Sascha. And no matter how long you live, or how many lives you traverse—” His words weakened her and she stumbled on her wounded ankle, but he caught her easily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her body against his. “I will always find you.” Tangling his hand in the mussed curls at the back of her head, he tipped her mouth upwards to meet his in an insistent kiss. At first, she tried to pull away, not knowing how to react, but he held her fast, not letting her escape. And when he teased her mouth open with his tongue and delved inside, she found that escape was the farthest thing from her mind. She let him in eagerly, instinct taking over and letting their tongues play together in a sensual dance that left her panting his name. “You are my mate,” he growled, licking his lips.

  “Yes.” She sighed, dizzy with his closeness and intoxicated by his taste, which still lingered on her tongue. He loosened his hold on her a little, and she stepped backward to clear her head. She quickly discovered the extent of her injury as a pain shot from her ankle all the way to her thigh when she put her weight down. She gasped through clenched teeth and nearly went down on her knees. He caught her just in time, gathering her into his arms and lifting her off her feet. “Your mate.” She sighed again, her head swimming as he turned.

  He made almost a purring sound deep in his throat as he crossed the room in two strides. He lay her down gently across his bed, their eyes locked on one another. Sascha remembered the words she’d read in Bella’s journal and waves of trepidation and excitement rose in the pit of her belly. After all this time of wondering about her purpose in this place, now that everything was clear, she was uncertain all over again. She visibly shivered as he looked down on her with those warm, honeyed eyes.

  “Are you cold?” he asked, sinking into the mound of pillows beside her.

  “Perhaps a little,” she murmured with an absent whisper. She found herself mesmerized by the movement of muscle and sinew beneath his skin. “Still chilled from being outside, I suppose.”

  He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. “Allow me to warm you then.” His voice was low and tumbled over the rough gravel in the back of his throat. It was tense, but sure. There wasn’t any doubt that he wanted her. And when she leaned into his body, his chest so warm against hers, she knew she wanted him, too. Needed him even. She needed to take his warmth into her until it flowed through her veins more precious than blood.

  Sascha stared up at him with eyes full of wonderment. Was this the same Lord Marek she’d heard horror stories of her entire life? The scarred and hideous beast of Kaspar that would sooner kill a person than look at one? From where she lay, there were no scars, save for the one over his breast. Only unblemished flesh that she longed to touch. She reached out, but flinched when he moved. He noticed and smiled apologetically. “Are you still so frightened of me, little one?”

  “Yes,” she blurted, then blushed deeply.

  He laughed with a timbre that was neither teasing nor angry, but reassuring. “I suppose I deserve that. I haven’t been exactly the easiest person to get along with. I know I can be frightening at times.” He shifted to prop himself beside her on one elbow, giving her an unencumbered view of his body. Taking her hand, he once more placed it against his heart, letting her feel the heavy rhythm. “But please believe me when I tell you, you’ve nothing to fear from me.” He held it there, his fingers stroking the back of her hand.

  “You’re so warm.” Sascha gasped. “Your blood, it must be boiling.”

  “It’s the wolf,” he replied, his voice nearly inaudible. “It tends to make my flesh unusually warm. Is it uncomfortable?” He pulled away slightly, and she reached out to stop him.

  “No!” she gasped. “Please, no. Your warmth comforts me.”

  He smiled, watching her as she inched closer and into the crook of his arm. She paused for a moment to see if he’d pull away, but he welcomed her embrace with open arms, even slid an arm around her waist until she lay against him, arms and legs entwined.

  “I hadn’t imagined this, Sascha. That you would feel this good in my arms. That I would ever feel this complete again. I didn’t think I deserved it.”

  “Why? You’ve done nothing to deserve such loneliness, my lord.”

  He gave a sad smile, and Sascha could tell that he was remembering Bella. “If only you knew. If only I could tell you.”

  “My lord,” she began. “You can tell me anything. If what you’ve said is true and we are truly mates, you can tell me anything and I will understand. Yes?” She looked into his eyes, searching them for answers.

  Cianan grinned at her logic. “Of course. But let’s not dwell on things long past that cannot be changed tonight. You’ve had enough sorrow to last two lifetimes, and I don’t wish to make your burden heavier. Just know that to me, you are perfect in every way, and I probably don’t deserve your kindness. But I can assure you that I will take it gladly.”

  His words made her insides flutter with a longing like she’d never known. The warmth and safety of his embrace settled around her and started to grow into something different. Something unfamiliar and sensual. Her skin tingled and goose bumps popped out along her arms. She tried to breathe deeply and slow, but there didn’t seem to be enough air in this space. She opened her mouth to inhale and suddenly, he’d captured her lips again.

  His kiss was fast and hard, taking her completely by surprise. She found herself giving up to it, opening her mouth to invite him inside. His tongue slid over hers with a maddeningly slow sensation. She whined softly into his mouth and pressed her body to his. She wanted more, wanted to take his breath into her body, giving it new life. She pulled his lip between her teeth, rolling it gently against them and tasting the flesh. After a time, he broke their kiss, pushing her gently back against the pillows.

  Sascha was panting, feeling a little embarrassed that she’d gotten so carried away. Had she angered him once again with her maladroit manner? She cast a curious gaze in his direction. “Have I done something wrong, my lord?” she asked with a nervous quiver.

  “Only that you won’t call me by my given name.” He leaned over her again to kiss softly at the crest of her cheekbone. “Your passion is never wrong. Merely unexpected.”

  She nodded slowly in agreement as he ran his fingertips through the tangled mess of her hair. He traced her jawline, coming to rest just under her chin and tipping her mouth upwards to receive him. Just before making contact, he pulled back out of her reach. She whimpered and he chuckled, teasing her. Over and over they played this cat and mouse game until finally, she won, crushing her mouth against his until her lips were swollen and pouting.

  “Slowly, love,” he whispered, his breath warm against her ear. Then his lips were against the hollow beneath her earlobe. She purred when his lips took the small bit of flesh between them, nibbling gently. His fingers roamed down her front to tangle in the strings of her bodice, pulling at them until the heavy brocade fell away, leaving behind the sheer silk chemise below. She felt her cheeks light up and knew that they had turned bright pink. She clenched her fists at her sides, wanting so badly to cover herself, but also embarrassed by her modesty. The thin fabric clung to her body like a second skin, outlining every curve and settling into the V between her thighs. She shifted uncomfortably in a vain attempt to soothe the burning that radiated from her center. His thumb brushed against a small bruise just over the curve of her breast. Sascha winced, trying not to whimper with pain.

  “He hurt you,” Cianan growled.

  “Just a few bruises and scrapes. It was more a hurt to my modesty. Most of the damage I did to myself.” His jaw was set in a tense line and she could feel the anger rolling off of him in waves. She touched his arm lightly, hoping to calm him. “And you were there
to rescue me.” She took his hand and lay it against her chest again, his touch immediately making her short of breath.

  “Your flesh is mine, Sascha. Any other man who touches you now…his life is forfeit.”

  “Like the roses.” She chuckled.

  He nodded. “You’re my rose now.”

  This time when they kissed, there was no turning back. No flirtatious teasing or tentative brushes of lips, just an urgent joining. She didn’t pull away as he delved into her mouth, stroking her tongue with his. His hand slipped to cup her breast fully in his palm. She whined softly, but did not falter, only arched her back, offering more of herself to his touch. His thumb flicked back and forth over her nipple, teasing it to a tiny pearl. Sascha gasped, thinking how different the sensation of Cianan’s careful teasing was from Lescoux’s sloppy pawing.

  He broke from her mouth, staring down at her body stretched out beneath him. His hand still held her breast, warming it with gentle kneading. “So beautiful, little one. My little slave.” He took the hardened nipple into his mouth through the silken fabric. The sensation was so erotic with the scraping of the cool chemise against the inflamed bud along with the wet heat of his mouth. “You make me want to eat you alive.” He glanced up at her, making his eyes flash with the wolfen gleam. She blushed deeply, feeling the heat flood the apples of her cheeks immediately.

  Her heart pounded in her chest as his hands traveled over every contour of her body. She wanted more, but was afraid to ask, so she could only lay there accepting his intoxicating torture. His fingers tugged insistently at the thin gown until one ivory breast was exposed. Instinctively, her hands went to it, trying to hide herself, but his were quickly there pushing them aside.

  “Don’t do that, little one. Never hide yourself from my eyes.” He didn’t give her a chance to protest before his mouth was on her again. This time, unhindered by the thin cloth, his tongue slid around the sensitive flesh. It swelled uncomfortably when he pulled the center between his teeth and nibbled gently. His fingertips played across the edge of the chemise and then delved underneath to free her other breast. His calloused palm scraped against her soft skin, and she cried out with pleasure. Her nipple swelled with want, and with an involuntary motion, she tried to push more of it into his mouth. He laughed with dark mirth and pulled away. “Patience, love. Dawn is forever away.”

  He smiled again and pulled the chemise slowly down her torso until she was displayed before him from the waist up. Though her cheeks burned with abashed innocence, she desperately wanted to be free of her clothing. Suddenly, it was too tight and rough against the overheated flesh. She wanted to assuage the pounding heat that had settled in her center, and she parted her legs slightly. The movement only seemed to make it worse, and she knew that the only one who could calm it was Cianan.

  “You blush so prettily, Sascha. Your cheeks positively glow,” he said, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

  “Their color embarrasses me.”

  “Why?”

  “I wouldn’t want you to think me childish.” She cast her eyes down, ashamed to seem so silly.

  “But you are, little one. Innocent like a child. I rather like it.” As he spoke, he leaned over, breathing softly over the skin of her belly.

  She shivered visibly, trying to keep her breath even. “Would you not rather have a woman like Neesa?” she asked shyly, her voice trembling.

  “Another man’s whore?” he snapped. “To know that my woman had been shared with others? I think not.”

  Cianan’s eyes went cold, and Sascha was suddenly sorry she had said anything. He looked insulted by her notion, though she honestly wondered what he saw in her.

  He must have noticed the glimmer of fear that had crept back into her eyes, for he softened his expression and smiled wanly. “No, Sascha. I would much prefer a secreted treasure kept only for me. A treasure that once marked, could never be shared.” As he said this, his thumb brushed over the edge of a fading welt left by his belt. Sascha winced, a shadow of the pain still lingering. Something that may have been sorrow crossed his brow. “Did I hurt you very much?”

  She stared at him, not knowing how to answer. She remembered the sting of the leather strap against her untouched skin. How even the lightest touch of her bedclothes had burned against her for days afterwards. But there had been something else just underneath. That throb of lust that had settled into her sex. How after a few of the lashes, her body had begun to crave it. For those few minutes, every hurt, all the uncertainty and sadness that had weighed her down for so long, seemed to have been brought to the surface and released. He’d taken ultimate control over her entire being in that moment, and she’d been relieved. He had hurt her, but she needed it.

  “Not so very much, my lord,” Sascha answered finally. “And you were right to be angry. I shouldn’t have pried.”

  “On the contrary. All that I have is yours, Sascha. There should be no secrets between us.” He sat up on the bed, looking past her with a faraway gaze. “It’s just that I loved her so. And you’re…” He paused again, his jaw set in a show of restrained emotion. “So very like her. It pains me to see her smile in your countenance.”

  Sascha’s expression soured. “I don’t wish to cause you any pain, my lord.”

  His eyes found hers again. “There are lessons to be learned from pain. It is what keeps us human. That healthy fear of pain.”

  “But, my lord…”

  “Listen well, Sascha.” His expression grew dark with desperation. “If I ever come upon you in my wolfen form…”

  “But you can control that. I watched you change back.” Her voice dried up quickly under his heavy gaze.

  “There are times I can’t. The wolf has the most power over me when the moon is at its fullest. On those nights, I’m not myself. And if you’re in my path…”

  Suddenly, Anya’s story about Lady Isabella came together in her mind and she started. “My God...it was you...you killed her,” Sascha whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

  “Let me explain, Sascha.”

  But it was too late. She was scrambling from his grasp, nearly tumbling over the side of the bed in her haste to get away. “She loved you!” she exclaimed, coming down on her injured ankle and crumpling to the floor.

  She’d read Bella’s words and felt every one. Her heart had ached with the loneliness of Cianan’s absence during the war, fluttered with the description of their lovemaking, and leapt with the excitement of his return. She felt she knew this woman, and to know now that this man—this beast—who was proclaiming his love for her was her murderer, it was too much to bear. “She loved you and you slaughtered her like one of Mr. Oakleaf’s sheep!” By this time, she was sobbing hysterically, her arms stretched out in front of her as if to ward him off.

  Cianan came around the bed, kneeling down to take her into his arms despite her fighting him. “Please, Sascha...I didn’t mean it...” His own voice was choked with tears at his confession. He pulled her head back roughly, forcing her to look at him. “You’re right. I did. I couldn’t control myself then,” he said. “After that day, I swore I’d never lose control like that again! And I haven’t—except on—” He gasped, nearly dropping her as she thrashed back and forth. “Damnit, Sascha! You have to listen to me!”

  “Let me go! Murderer,” she said, her tone dripping with venom.

  “No,” he rasped, wrestling her to the floor and pinning her down tightly. “You will listen to me.”

  His eyes were furious and it frightened Sascha into submission. She knew she’d never escape him from this position. “You’re right. I am a murderer. I killed the only thing in the world that I loved. But I didn’t mean it, and I’d like to avoid doing the same to you. So, therefore, you’d better take heed, slave.” She squirmed weakly, but finally nodded. “If the wolf ever comes upon you, its eyes glowing red with hunger, pain is the only thing that will stop it. Hurt me, Sascha.”

  “I could never,” she whimpered, turning her face from
his, not wanting to face the truth of his nature.

  “It’s the only way. Pain will force me to change. As I said before, pain makes us human.” He took her chin gently between his fingertips and turned her face back to him. “Promise me, Sascha.” Her eyes filled with tears again and she shook her head. “You have to promise me. Hurt me. Kill me if you have to. Do whatever you have to do to stay safe.”

  “I…” She struggled to get the words out, but they turned to choked sobs. “I can’t...do this...”

  He took her face between his fingertips, angrily this time. They dug into her jawbone and she whimpered against the pain. “You have no choice. You are my slave and I’m ordering you to do this.” She closed her eyes and turned away again, her jaw set in defiance. After a few moments, he spoke softly. “If you can’t promise me this one thing, I’ll send you away.” His voice caught in his throat, choking on the sentence. But she could tell from the hard line of his mouth that he meant it. Her heart leapt in terror as the realization of his threat hit her hard. Suddenly, the thought of being sent away from him was more than she could bear. He sighed and heaved his body off of her, standing up and starting to pace back and forth, pushing his hands through his hair. “Make your choice quickly, Sascha. I haven’t the time for halfhearted decisions.”

  She sniffled, sitting at his feet and staring up at him with tearful eyes. “Please don’t send me away, my lord.”

  “Say it. Say you promise to draw blood, even kill me if you must.”

  The words wrenched more sobs from her throat, but she knew what had to be done. “I promise,” she whispered, hanging her head in defeat. “I will do whatever you ask.”

  He nodded and knelt down in front of her, putting his arms around her shoulders and pulling her tightly against him. “Good girl. I won’t lose you again. I can’t.”

  His embrace was desperate, as if he didn’t want to ever let her go. She inhaled deeply, taking him into her lungs. It made her dizzy and she nearly swooned, but his hands were in her hair, pulling her head back to stare up at him. Her eyes were open when his mouth descended on hers once more. His kiss was furious and their tongues fought for dominance before he won out. When he rose, he pulled her with him, gathering her into his arms and turning to lay her back down across his bed, their lips never parting. By the time he released her, she was gasping for breath and pulling at his shirt, wanting him to stay close. He took her hands, putting them by her sides as he knelt beside her on the bed. Her eyes stayed on him as he lifted her pelvis easily, tugging her torn dress over her hips and throwing it aside. He gave an animalistic growl as his eyes moved over her body, and Sascha’s heart skipped a beat. She started to protest, but his mouth silenced her again. His hands were all over her, tracing lightly with the tips of his fingers. She groaned softly, stretching out beneath him, remembering all the things she’d read in Bella’s journal. Would he work the same magic on her? She was apprehensive, but more afraid that this would end.